Blue's Clues!
by the butt
Summary: Ray, Roberto, and Sam play Blue's Clues to find the plot of the story. Pointless idiotic junk included. YAY!


Taz: Welcome!  
  
Nico: ::insane grin:: We're doing a ficcy play-style!!  
  
Taz: Yes! And that's because this is a PLAY!!   
  
Ray: Lemme guess. Amara's a damsel in distress and I have to go rescue her from Bobby the evil wizard with the help of Kurt the elf and Roberto the sun god while our friend Sam from back home dies from cancer?  
  
Taz: No... But good idea!  
  
Ray: So if that isn't it... What kind of doom are you putting me and Sam and Roberto in?  
  
Taz: (singsong voice)) You'll see!!  
  
Nico: On with the fic! Oh yeah... Disclaimer junk. We don't own X-Men. I really don't know why you think we would.  
  
***  
  
We open up to Ray randomly wandering around a village.  
  
Ray: Where the hell am I?!  
  
Pleasant townsfolk: You're in the land of the happy!  
  
Ray:............ Save me...  
  
Roberto: WITH THE POWER OF THE SUN, I WILL BECOME ALL-POWERFULL! ((swoops down on vine and saves Ray like a damsel in distress and they end up in a random forest))  
  
Ray: Uhhh?  
  
Roberto: ......((blink))  
  
Sam: ((coming from behind a random tree)) HI!  
  
Ray: HI!  
  
Roberto: .... Now what?  
  
Ray: Uhhh?  
  
Sam: ((looks at Taz and Nico)) Where's the plot?  
  
Ray: ((waits for response)) I think they want us to figure that out ourselves.  
  
Kurt: ((runs up from nowhere and puts tailprint on screen, then runs out))  
  
Roberto: I get it. We have to play Blue's Clues to get the plot.  
  
Sam and Ray: ....Yay...?  
  
Roberto: So... Where do we look?  
  
Ray: I think we should look in a desert. There's less stuff to look at there.  
  
Sam: Or the snow!  
  
Roberto: ((stangles Sam)) SNOW IS EVIL! THERE ISN'T SUN IN THE SNOW!  
  
Sam: OK! I get it!! Stop killing me!  
  
Roberto: ((lets go)) Sorry... To the desert, then?  
  
Ray: To the desert! But... How do we get there?  
  
Warren: ((comes from nowhere and flies our heroes to the desert then flies out)))  
  
Sam: I don't see any clues.  
  
Ray: ((whacks Sam)) LOOK HARDER!  
  
Random kids from offscreen: A clue a clue!  
  
Ray: You see my shoe?  
  
Random kids from offscreen who will now be known as RKFO: ((laughing)) No, a clue!  
  
Sam: You see a clue? Where?  
  
RKFO: Over there!  
  
Roberto: ((looks around)) ...Where...?  
  
RKFO: In the sky!  
  
Ray: ((looks up and sees a tailprint on cloud)) This cloud has a clue on it!  
  
Sam: Let's get out the super-duper-notebook!  
  
Roberto: ((takes out random notebook with picture of thinking chair on it and a really huge green crayon)) Let's draw the cloud! ((starts drawing)) First you draw a lump, then some more lumps, then you're done!  
  
Ray: We're still drawing clouds right?  
  
Roberto: Uhh... ((rips page out and puts it in pocket, then draws a cloud))   
  
Sam: ((little drawn cloud appears above head)) So our first clue is a cloud. What could the plot be? ((pause)) Maybe. But I think we need more clues to find out!  
  
Roberto: Where do YOU think the next clue is, Ray?  
  
Ray: ...Snow!  
  
Roberto: ((starts strangling Ray)) NO!  
  
Ray: ((choking)) CAN'T --- BREATHE!  
  
Roberto: ((stops)) Sorry.  
  
Ray: So let's go to the city!  
  
Warren: ((flies from nowhere and takes our heroes to the city, then leaves))  
  
Ray: Ok... So where's the clue?  
  
Roberto: Let's try in here ((heads off into random alley))  
  
Bobby: ((hops out of box in hobo clothes)) Hi, guys!  
  
Sam: Look, it's our friend Bobby!  
  
Bobby: Hi!   
  
Ray: Do you have any fun games for us to play?  
  
Bobby: Yeah! I'm trying to rob a little old lady!  
  
Ray: That sounds like fun!   
  
Bobby: Yeah! Hey, there she is! ((points out skinny old lady with large purse))  
  
Roberto: Ok! ((becomes powered up and tackles lady))  
  
Lady: AHHHHHHHH! ((whacks Roberto with purse))  
  
Roberto: HOLY SHIT! ((cowers in pain)) What do you have in there?!  
  
Sam: ((takes purse when lady has it lifted)) I GOT IT! ((opens it)) What the hell?!  
  
Ray: ((looks inside)) ...Three dead bananas. The lady has three dead, hard bananas in her purse.  
  
Bobby: Just what I wanted! ((takes bananas)) Thanks, guys! ((wanders off))  
  
Roberto: ...I don't think we want to know why he needed those...  
  
Ray: Let's just forget the whole thing...  
  
Sam: Works for me...  
  
RKFO: A clue, a clue!  
  
Sam: A zoo?  
  
RKFO: ((laughing)) No, a clue!  
  
Ray: ((looks around and spots a waffle lying on the ground with a tailprint)) Let's get out our super-duper-notebook!  
  
Sam: ((takes out notebook and crayon)) To draw a waffle, you put a bunch of random squares in a pattern. Of course that makes it non-random...  
  
Roberto: ((floaty drawn cloud and waffle above head)) So our clues are a cloud ((cloud gets a bit bigger and classical music plays)) and a waffle! ((waffle gets a bit bigger and rock music plays)) What could the plot be? ((pause)) Maybe. But I think we need one more clue!  
  
Sam: I bet it's in the snow.  
  
Roberto: Whatever. Let's just go there because we just KNOW it is.  
  
Sam and Ray: YAY!  
  
Warren: ((flies out of nowhere and takes our heroes to the snow, then leaves))  
  
Roberto: ((glares at snow)) ...Evil...  
  
Sam: ((spots picture randomly lying on the ground)) Er...  
  
Ray: I think we have to 'skadoo' into the picture.  
  
Roberto and Sam: ....Yay...?  
  
Ray: Just sing the song.  
  
Roberto: But Blue didn't skadoo...  
  
Sam: Who cares?  
  
All three: Blue skadooed, we can too! ((they all fly into picture and end up on the beach))  
  
Roberto: YAY!  
  
Ray: Well that just took every bit of realism out of the story...  
  
Sam: I feel so young...  
  
Jamie: ((frolics up to them)) Hi!  
  
Roberto: Hey look! It's our friend Jamie!  
  
Jamie: Hi! I'm missing my wallet! Can YOU help me find it? ((looks directly at screen))  
  
RKFO: Yeah!  
  
Sam: I just realized we didn't get mail time...  
  
Ray: I want mail!   
  
Roberto: Stupid Taz and Nico, forgetting to give us mail....  
  
Jamie: Ahem! My wallet!  
  
Sam: Oh yeah!  
  
Roberto: Uhhh... ((sees fat guy wearing only a speedo)) OH MY DEAR GOD I'M BLIND!  
  
Sam: MY EYES!   
  
Everyone: ((runs away from fat guy))  
  
Roberto: Ok, now that that's over with... Where's the wallet?  
  
Sam: ((kicks something from the sand and it turns out to be the wallet)) Wow, this was pointless...  
  
Jamie: ((takes wallet and frolics away))  
  
Roberto: Uhh... So now let's go back?  
  
RKFO: A clue, a clue!  
  
Roberto: A balloon?  
  
RKFO: ((laughing)) No, a clue!  
  
Sam: A clue? Where?  
  
Roberto: I SEE IT! ((points out beach ball with a tailprint on it))  
  
Ray: Super-duper-notebook time!!! ((gets out supplies and draws beach ball))  
  
Roberto: Time to sit in the thinking chair!  
  
Sam: ((finds random beach chair and takes it)) Ok!  
  
Robert: ((sits in chair with cloud, waffle, and beach ball above head)) Our clues are a cloud ((cloud gets a bit bigger and classical music plays)), a waffle ((waffle gets a bit bigger and rock music plays)), and a beach ball (beach ball gets a bit bigger and techno music plays)). What could the plot be?!  
  
Sam: Uh...  
  
Ray: Maybe you sit on the bouncy balls and eat waffles!  
  
Roberto: What about the clouds?  
  
Sam: Uh... You're in the clouds?  
  
All three: ...........GOOD ENOUGH!  
  
Ray: So... Now what?  
  
Sam: We never un-skadooed...  
  
Roberto: Oh well!  
  
Warren: ((comes out of nowhere)) I have to take you to the clouds now.  
  
Sam: Yay?  
  
Warren: ((flies them up to clouds where there are many beach balls and waffles))  
  
Sam: ((eyes widen)) WAFFLES! ((starts eating))  
  
Tabitha: ((bounces up on bouncy ball)) Look, I'm in the story!   
  
Ray: I think we should end this now...  
  
Roberto: Yep...  
  
Sam: ((looks at Taz and Nico expectantly))  
  
***  
  
Taz: Wow. What a waste of time!  
  
Nico: I can't believe we just did that...  
  
Taz: Whatever. Just review and make our poor souls happy.   
  
Nico: Like anyone will review... ::scoff::  
  
Everyone: BYE! ::insane waving::(hahaha how corny...) 


End file.
